February 2012
28 posts
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“Heavy mind and heavy heart it doesn’t matter if you’re putting on an armor for...”
– thinkcollarbones
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Anonymous asked: I wish you would post something so I know your okay
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At the hospital again.
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this-is-absolute-bullshit asked: that came off really rude. just to tell you honestly. I was supposed to know that you get questions like that alot? i just started following you.
this-is-absolute-bullshit asked: if i try to starve myself (which is taboo for me, but i really am too lazy for excersise), what are some pros and cons?
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Anonymous asked: why aren't you coming online? :(
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Anonymous asked: How did you throw up if you didn't eat anything?
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Day 2 or 3?
Everything’s a blurr, I feel like shit and I didn’t eat anything today. I threw up about six times and drank water.
I’m regretting this decision now but I can’t turn back.
“I somehow always felt less lonely when I was completely alone.”
– Portia de Rossi, Unbearable Lightness. (via daisychainrecovery)
Anonymous asked: This is really good, one day the nausea will leave you. But you need to ask your parents to sign you up to an outpatient clinic (it's a lot easier than inpatient) also, you can't change your thought proccess by yourself, you've been living with these thoughts for seven years - it's normal for you. I'm so happy you want to change, so please take the right steps for it. And...
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Day one, trying to eat.
After waking up at eight I swam for thirty minutes and afterwards I ran for about an hour. That’s not unusual, but after working out, I ate breakfast for the first time since I was thirteen.
Today I’ve been eating: Blueberries, 80 worth of calories. A salad consisting of: Cucumber, 5-6 calories. Tomatoes, 15 calories. Sweet corn, 30 calories. Lettuce, 8 calories. Bread, 85 calories.
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I'm going to get better now.
I’ve decided, I’ve been off the computer and internet for two weeks, I’ve been sleeping, trying not to work out, trying to eat and having constant anxiety. I want to be healthy and I want to be alive even though I’m in the darkest of places as of now. I’m fed up and tired and I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t be this person and I don’t want to...
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January 2012
85 posts
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Anonymous asked: I know, when you have nothing you will always have anorexia. But picture this: two years from now bumping into your ex boyfriend but being healthy, not fat, not a failure, but healthy. Think about how happy that would make him. Sometimes you have to give up something good for something better. Imagine being a 30 year old, your bones brittle and you won't have many friends by you because...
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Anonymous asked: Why haven't your parents put you into forced recovery? Or hasn't your doctor tried to refer you to a clinic? I didn't want to recover either but being put in there, therapy and a lot of other things helped me.
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Anonymous asked: (carrying on from the last message) I'm sorry, I know very well that you may find this annoying or you will think I feel sorry for you which may anger you but I don't, I just feel like I should tell you that there is a life outside anorexia even if it doesn't seem that way to you. Imagine being healthy - mind and body, that is perfection not being ill. If you want to speak about it...
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Anonymous asked: If you know anorexia will be the death of you then maybe that can be your motivation to take the first step into recovery (which is wanting to recover) i'm a recovered/recovering anorexic and life is honestly better. When I was stuck in that mind-set the idea of recovery wasn't a possibility, I never wanted to lose that control. Now I realise that having anorexia isn't having...
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Anonymous asked: my mum found out about me starving, ive got to go get help, but i havent lost enough weight yet! im not ready!:(